i wished i have another ideas. but i didn’t have any. i was merely being impulsive and emotional. as usual. so yeah, i threw my cards on a table last night with an immense hope that my second mind would tell me about other thing rather than the existence of a human being who’s administratively only existed a decade after me.
i wished i could be more patient and not folded my face so it wouldn’t lose its beauty. but i did it anyhow. i groaned, cursed, and lost my temper. bad tantrum it was last night. but what else could i done? smiling wasn’t realy a merry thing to do. i was doomed.
i wished i could be more content and accept myself as the way i am. apparently, i was still joking around with all statements i’ve written or said. i couldn’t stand seeing people who’s in love holding hands or saying words so soft and tender. i couldn’t stand the eyes so full of affections and compassions. sadly but true, i did not have enough self confidence and self acceptence to embrace reality of …
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